I've felt a need to meditate recently. Not meditation as most people would think of it--chants, burning incense, the lotus position, and a deep-seated belief that the Force flows through all things. When I say meditation, I mean quiet time where I think about what matters and I try to center myself. The phrase "center myself" probably isn't very clear to you, but I'm not sure how to explain it. I just know when something is unbalanced in my mind and I need to fix it. But it's not easy for me to meditate because I usually like to be outdoors and moving when I meditate. I come from mountainous, heavily forested country. I used to grab my headphones, crank up the volume, throw on my shoes, and go climb a mountain. That's meditation. I once said that I think best in the shower. Something about the water: movement, steam, miniscule and multiple rapid hits to the head... But I also think really well when I meditate. From time to time, I still grab my headphones and go around Holmes. It's not mountains and forest, but it's the closest I'll find within a short distance.
Lately, I've felt unbalanced. It's largely due, I suspect, to the fact that I have no regular routine right now. In other words, I've got no job and I'm going a little nuts. I've been meaning to go for a walk for a couple of days now but I never did. But sometimes God decides to pick up the slack where we've left off. I got in my car today to drive to my lunch appointment. As usual, I started the car and turned on the radio. The regular channels were playing junk so I turned to K-LOV. "My Own Little World" by Matthew West was playing. If you haven't heard it, look it up. Good song. The song lasted until I parked. Coincidence? I think not. I don't believe in coincidence anymore. At a time when I needed it, God sent me a message. A reminder that "my own little world is not about me".
I still need to meditate sometime. Life looks a little better, though. Little less gray. I don't need to worry about the future so much. Someone already has it arranged.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A Walk on the Death Side
I got a call today. The kind of call that can't be ignored. Not the kind that makes water swirl in porcelain or the kind that rings or vibrates endlessly in your pocket. This was a serious call. So a part of my mind answered.
"Hello?" At first I heard nothing. Perhaps there was nothing to hear?
"Joe. It's been a while. Walk with Me." It was hard to hear. Faint. Like a barely audible whisper.
"Uh... Walk somewhere? Okay. Umm... gimme a little bit. I'll be out... shortly."
So I put my coat on, grabbed my headphones and set out for a walk around the.. pond. As I strolled along I began to ponder: What was I doing out here? Why did I need to walk? Maybe it was the sunlight or maybe it was the music but something tweaked my brain and I had an epiphany. I needed to be around life to replenish my own. It was a startling thought. I began carefully examining my surroundings for life. Trees, grass, ducks, rocks and sand, water. Yes, the last two are actually inanimate, but they are related to life. Without rocks and sand, life would have nothing to grow on and in. And, as Mortal Kombat reminds us, water is "the element which brings life".
The next thought that flashed through my synapses was, what about my surroundings was so lifeless? Slowly, my brain started analyzing my normal surroundings and I came up with a list of death. Buildings in cities are made of concrete and metal, both lifeless; the movies and TV shows that I watch deal with death; the books that I read deal with death; the music that I listen to is canned, dead. In a lifeless existence, one will eventually feel a need for life. A need to return to nature. At least for a little while.
Somehow, my mind leapt from dead surroundings to winter. Winter is thought of as a season of death. But that's not entirely accurate. It's actually a season of sleep. Some plants die, but a lot of insects and animals sleep during the winter. So winter equating to death is a bit of a misnomer. Now, let's expand that idea to the Christian view of death. In the eyes of a Christian, death is winter. It's a time for sleep, not actually death.
In the end, winter will come. As Katsumoto said in The Last Samurai, "We are deep in the mountains, and winter is coming. You cannot escape." The first is true, the last is not. Death comes for everyone. A few, however, have sidestepped the Grim Reaper. Enoch and Elijah missed their appointments. Not many can say that. But there's no reason why it can't be said. It's possible to go from autumn to spring. And when the spring comes, we will "ride to ruin and the world's ending" (Theoden, Return of the King). Then our true nature will be revealed. Like Yoda said, "Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter."
There is no reason to fear death. Death is just sleep. Winter. A natural part of the cycle. And after winter comes the spring. A time when life comes anew.
"Hello?" At first I heard nothing. Perhaps there was nothing to hear?
"Joe. It's been a while. Walk with Me." It was hard to hear. Faint. Like a barely audible whisper.
"Uh... Walk somewhere? Okay. Umm... gimme a little bit. I'll be out... shortly."
So I put my coat on, grabbed my headphones and set out for a walk around the.. pond. As I strolled along I began to ponder: What was I doing out here? Why did I need to walk? Maybe it was the sunlight or maybe it was the music but something tweaked my brain and I had an epiphany. I needed to be around life to replenish my own. It was a startling thought. I began carefully examining my surroundings for life. Trees, grass, ducks, rocks and sand, water. Yes, the last two are actually inanimate, but they are related to life. Without rocks and sand, life would have nothing to grow on and in. And, as Mortal Kombat reminds us, water is "the element which brings life".
The next thought that flashed through my synapses was, what about my surroundings was so lifeless? Slowly, my brain started analyzing my normal surroundings and I came up with a list of death. Buildings in cities are made of concrete and metal, both lifeless; the movies and TV shows that I watch deal with death; the books that I read deal with death; the music that I listen to is canned, dead. In a lifeless existence, one will eventually feel a need for life. A need to return to nature. At least for a little while.
Somehow, my mind leapt from dead surroundings to winter. Winter is thought of as a season of death. But that's not entirely accurate. It's actually a season of sleep. Some plants die, but a lot of insects and animals sleep during the winter. So winter equating to death is a bit of a misnomer. Now, let's expand that idea to the Christian view of death. In the eyes of a Christian, death is winter. It's a time for sleep, not actually death.
In the end, winter will come. As Katsumoto said in The Last Samurai, "We are deep in the mountains, and winter is coming. You cannot escape." The first is true, the last is not. Death comes for everyone. A few, however, have sidestepped the Grim Reaper. Enoch and Elijah missed their appointments. Not many can say that. But there's no reason why it can't be said. It's possible to go from autumn to spring. And when the spring comes, we will "ride to ruin and the world's ending" (Theoden, Return of the King). Then our true nature will be revealed. Like Yoda said, "Luminous beings are we. Not this crude matter."
There is no reason to fear death. Death is just sleep. Winter. A natural part of the cycle. And after winter comes the spring. A time when life comes anew.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
My Veritas
I find that lately I have had a lot of questions. I have questioned who I am. What I believe. What my purpose is right now. Un/fortunately, it is the nature of Man to question. That's the way of Life. But while questions are plentiful in this life, answers are found once in a quarter-century. And questions often breed unwanted results. Questions often breed inaction. So, for tonight, I choose to act. I choose to find/make answers. What follows is my philosophy, my game plan. What follows are my answers. What follows is my veritas. What follows is me.
My name is Peter Joseph Okimi, but my name is Joe (and I am Canadian).
I believe that life is a game. Life is The Game. If you win, you live; if you lose, you die.
I believe that living is a wonderful, joyous adventure. It is not bland, it is not boring, it is not existence. Living is rolling a natural 20 while duking with the final boss, stealing it's loot, and stomping around its hunting grounds. It's not dropping a mob to 0 HP and calling yourself badass.
I believe that family is vital to my existence. Those select few, however, are chosen by me, not by blood. In this case, blood is not thicker.
I believe that life is about choice. Everything is a choice. What is perceived as no choice is simply a different choice wrapped in the rotten potato peelings of self-doubt, self-pity, and apathy. No matter what you do with the peelings, you can't call the end result a potato. They're still just peelings. Likewise, life is a collection of choices. Not a collection of the all-time greatest hits of Fate.
I believe that love is a verb. Like a seed, it grows with time, effort, and patience. If those are lacking, it dies.
I believe that God is my Father. He's not my dad, and he's not my father. He's my Father (listen carefully to hear the capital letter when I speak) and He has never loved me more or less than He does now. God is love, and God is eternal. Therefore, love is eternal. It follows, then, that God has always loved me with every facet of His being and He always will.
I believe that Why is the cousin of What. Te reason for performing an action is directly related to the action itself and vice versa.
These are 8 beliefs that I hold; 8 beliefs that are sacred to me. These are a part of my veritas--my truth.
My name is Peter Joseph Okimi, but my name is Joe (and I am Canadian).
I believe that life is a game. Life is The Game. If you win, you live; if you lose, you die.
I believe that living is a wonderful, joyous adventure. It is not bland, it is not boring, it is not existence. Living is rolling a natural 20 while duking with the final boss, stealing it's loot, and stomping around its hunting grounds. It's not dropping a mob to 0 HP and calling yourself badass.
I believe that family is vital to my existence. Those select few, however, are chosen by me, not by blood. In this case, blood is not thicker.
I believe that life is about choice. Everything is a choice. What is perceived as no choice is simply a different choice wrapped in the rotten potato peelings of self-doubt, self-pity, and apathy. No matter what you do with the peelings, you can't call the end result a potato. They're still just peelings. Likewise, life is a collection of choices. Not a collection of the all-time greatest hits of Fate.
I believe that love is a verb. Like a seed, it grows with time, effort, and patience. If those are lacking, it dies.
I believe that God is my Father. He's not my dad, and he's not my father. He's my Father (listen carefully to hear the capital letter when I speak) and He has never loved me more or less than He does now. God is love, and God is eternal. Therefore, love is eternal. It follows, then, that God has always loved me with every facet of His being and He always will.
I believe that Why is the cousin of What. Te reason for performing an action is directly related to the action itself and vice versa.
These are 8 beliefs that I hold; 8 beliefs that are sacred to me. These are a part of my veritas--my truth.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Random Thoughts (Borrowed)
"Got myself worked up over nothing today. All the trash that's in my head, I gotta throw it away. It's alright."
- Tommy Lee, "Good Times"
"For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray Thee, God, for forgiveness."
- Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan (Antonio Banderas), 13th Warrior
- Tommy Lee, "Good Times"
"For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done; I pray Thee, God, for forgiveness."
- Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan (Antonio Banderas), 13th Warrior
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The Mind of a Gamer: A Quest for Power
Had an interesting thought today (while I was in the shower). A little insight into the mind of the nerd; the mind of a gamer. Why do geeks/nerds like video games so much? It's a stereotype, really. The more of a nerd a guy (or girl, 'cause girl gamers exist too) is, the more he plays video games. In a way, it's the Nerd Richter Scale. I think I'm a size 7 or 8. But back to the question: why?
A psychologist or psychiatrist might have more insight into this than I do, but I think it's all about power. In high school, a nerd has little bargaining power. The powers that are respected are physical power (jocks), charisma or attractiveness (prom kings/queens), and popularity (cliques). The power a nerd has is intellectual. The power of the mind is not as well regarded in high school as the hotness factor of Katrina the Prom Queen. Especially if she's a bit of a tease (but not a slut).
So nerds turn to video games. In those, we rule the world. We can become powerful, acquire powerful artifacts and weapons, be attractive and popular, find attractive (and gravity-defying) mates/lovers. In those worlds, the power of the intellect translates into physical power, charisma, attractiveness, and popularity. We can, and do, have it all.
It's kind of sad, really. But we all crave power of a sort. It just comes in differing levels for different people. I grew up with intellect, but I wasn't physically powerful and didn't think I was very handsome. I also wasn't popular. Ever. It's probably part of why I'm a gamer. I based my above thoughts on my life. Since coming to college, my views have changed a little. I discovered that I'm somewhat good-looking. I made a lot of friends, so I guess you could say that I've become popular. I've developed some charisma (as three years of peer advising will show). Physically, I'm still not that powerful. Haven't bothered to work out. It's popular. I'm a nonconformist. Go figure.
But, I'm still power-hungry in my own way. What kind of power do you have? And what power do you crave?
A psychologist or psychiatrist might have more insight into this than I do, but I think it's all about power. In high school, a nerd has little bargaining power. The powers that are respected are physical power (jocks), charisma or attractiveness (prom kings/queens), and popularity (cliques). The power a nerd has is intellectual. The power of the mind is not as well regarded in high school as the hotness factor of Katrina the Prom Queen. Especially if she's a bit of a tease (but not a slut).
So nerds turn to video games. In those, we rule the world. We can become powerful, acquire powerful artifacts and weapons, be attractive and popular, find attractive (and gravity-defying) mates/lovers. In those worlds, the power of the intellect translates into physical power, charisma, attractiveness, and popularity. We can, and do, have it all.
It's kind of sad, really. But we all crave power of a sort. It just comes in differing levels for different people. I grew up with intellect, but I wasn't physically powerful and didn't think I was very handsome. I also wasn't popular. Ever. It's probably part of why I'm a gamer. I based my above thoughts on my life. Since coming to college, my views have changed a little. I discovered that I'm somewhat good-looking. I made a lot of friends, so I guess you could say that I've become popular. I've developed some charisma (as three years of peer advising will show). Physically, I'm still not that powerful. Haven't bothered to work out. It's popular. I'm a nonconformist. Go figure.
But, I'm still power-hungry in my own way. What kind of power do you have? And what power do you crave?
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
The Stuff of Life
Ah... music. In some ways it seems my life revolves around music. Maybe I should have been a music teacher. Anyways. Thought I'd post some of my current favorites. No particular order, I'm just assigning them numbers to differentiate between them.
1. Waiting for the End - Linkin Park
2. C'mon (Catch 'em By Surprise) - Tiesto vs. Diplo ft. Busta Rhymes
(There is a version of C'mon that's just Tiesto vs. Diplo)
3. Eternity - Alibi (presented by Armin Van Buuren and Tiesto)
4. Your Love - Brandon Heath
5. My Own Little World - Mathew West
6. Light Up The Sky - The Afters
You can find all of these songs on Youtube. Some of the music videos are interesting. Enjoy.
1. Waiting for the End - Linkin Park
2. C'mon (Catch 'em By Surprise) - Tiesto vs. Diplo ft. Busta Rhymes
(There is a version of C'mon that's just Tiesto vs. Diplo)
3. Eternity - Alibi (presented by Armin Van Buuren and Tiesto)
4. Your Love - Brandon Heath
5. My Own Little World - Mathew West
6. Light Up The Sky - The Afters
You can find all of these songs on Youtube. Some of the music videos are interesting. Enjoy.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Shower Thoughts
I find I do some of my best thinking in the shower. Not sure why. There's probably a scientific reason for it, somehow related to water. Whatever the reason, my mind produces a plethora of platitudes and plankton-like thoughts (Sorry. I had an urge to alliterate). A few of the things I came up with, I will not write for your viewing pleasure.
I've had to revise my opinion of a Linkin Park song. It's on the radio right now - Waiting for the End. When I first heard it, I remember thinking that it was a little odd, but it strayed from the original sound. I felt a little betrayed. When I think of Linkin Park, I expect to hear rock music in my head; this latest effort is a bit more of a ballad. I even discussed this a little with Claudia. She was giving me a lift somewhere and the song came on the radio. I remember her asking me what I thought of it and I told her basically what I wrote above this sentence. Over the course of this last semester, though, the song started to grow on me. Maybe it's because I was at the end of my college career, or the end of my student teaching. Maybe it's just where I am in life right now. I feel like I've come to the end of something. But, like the song says, "this is not the end. This is just the beginning." Somewhere, somewhen, somehow, I've changed. And so, the song reverberates with me now. I find myself singing along (I need more practice. Still don't have the lyrics committed to memory).
Shifting topics. Watched The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus last night. Definitely a weird movie. I saw names on the front-Christopher Plummer, Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Colin Farrel, Jude Law-and I thought that it would be worth watching. I was right-it was good. Also strange. The storyline was straightforward in setting up the problem. The solution left me puzzled, though. The resolution was also bizarre. I'm still trying to process and analyze all of the movie. Maybe that's my problem. In one of the special features, the director says that the movie was almost a whimsical move for him. It shows. It's a whimsical movie.
Shifting topics. Had a revelation the other day. Well, a revelation for me, maybe not for you. I thought about the basic nature of Sin. How would I define Sin in a sentence? Here's what I came up with. Sin (Satan's Way) is putting Me before You. God's Way (don't have a single word definition) is putting You before Me. I think that's all the explanation I'll put here. Think about it. It'll make sense.
Okay. I'm freshly showered, I exercised a little while ago. I'm starting to feel thirsty and hungry. Let us eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow is another day.
I've had to revise my opinion of a Linkin Park song. It's on the radio right now - Waiting for the End. When I first heard it, I remember thinking that it was a little odd, but it strayed from the original sound. I felt a little betrayed. When I think of Linkin Park, I expect to hear rock music in my head; this latest effort is a bit more of a ballad. I even discussed this a little with Claudia. She was giving me a lift somewhere and the song came on the radio. I remember her asking me what I thought of it and I told her basically what I wrote above this sentence. Over the course of this last semester, though, the song started to grow on me. Maybe it's because I was at the end of my college career, or the end of my student teaching. Maybe it's just where I am in life right now. I feel like I've come to the end of something. But, like the song says, "this is not the end. This is just the beginning." Somewhere, somewhen, somehow, I've changed. And so, the song reverberates with me now. I find myself singing along (I need more practice. Still don't have the lyrics committed to memory).
Shifting topics. Watched The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus last night. Definitely a weird movie. I saw names on the front-Christopher Plummer, Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Colin Farrel, Jude Law-and I thought that it would be worth watching. I was right-it was good. Also strange. The storyline was straightforward in setting up the problem. The solution left me puzzled, though. The resolution was also bizarre. I'm still trying to process and analyze all of the movie. Maybe that's my problem. In one of the special features, the director says that the movie was almost a whimsical move for him. It shows. It's a whimsical movie.
Shifting topics. Had a revelation the other day. Well, a revelation for me, maybe not for you. I thought about the basic nature of Sin. How would I define Sin in a sentence? Here's what I came up with. Sin (Satan's Way) is putting Me before You. God's Way (don't have a single word definition) is putting You before Me. I think that's all the explanation I'll put here. Think about it. It'll make sense.
Okay. I'm freshly showered, I exercised a little while ago. I'm starting to feel thirsty and hungry. Let us eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow is another day.
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