Win!

Seen on a t-shirt in Target:

Perturbed

I find myself slightly perturbed. More than slightly, really. There are some things that a man does not believe in until he sees them himself. Tonight, I have seen. I did not think it possible. A part of my mind still thinks that I'm tricking myself. Life would certainly be simpler. Such things were not meant for men to see.

Which did you take? The blue pill or the red pill?

Not sure how many people still keep up with blogs these days, much less read mine. That's okay. The real reason to write a blog is just to put my thoughts down somewhere. Some days, I just need to get thoughts out of my head. It doesn't matter if anyone looks over them and/or responds to them. As long as I know they're somewhere, I'll feel better.

I'm having a bit of a spiritual undermining lately. Theological ground has looked shaky to me in the last while. Not my personal spirituality, but general Christian theology. I heard a few years ago that a large percentage of young people were leaving the church (SDA) and that the church was having trouble retaining new converts. It seems that such problems are still around. Possibly they never left - possibly they got worse. And it troubles me on a personal level because I'm starting to realize that I know some of those people. Not necessarily converts, but young people. The other day, in a Facebook conversation with multiple people, a friend of mine casually mentioned that he was an atheist and I happen to know that he was an SDA a few years ago. I don't know what's happened to him. I can only guess. But it's hard to understand how someone who has some knowledge of how God moves in this world can suddenly decide that God doesn't exist.

It's almost as hard to understand how someone can believe that all life is predestined and we are all puppets dancing on strings because God has decided that we must suffer. That was a disheartening conversation. More of a debate, really. And my friend is very set on this idea. I don't remember all of what he discussed but his view on God disturbed me. Somehow, my friend has lost sight of who God is and what He stands for. In his eyes, life must be very bleak or very blissful. It could be blissful because in a predestined timeline, one never need worry; everything will happen as it has been decided. Simply put, insha'allah: if God wills it. Or to phrase it differently, "All is as God wills it" - Imad, Kingdom of Heaven. Or life could be very bleak - your future is already decided and there's nothing you can do about it. "The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won't live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed" - Herger, The 13th Warrior. Granted, I left the last line out because it didn't suit my purpose. The quote finishes with the line, "Fear profits a man nothing". Still... if only life were that simple. If choice never mattered there really wouldn't be a need to worry.

But that's what life on Earth is all about. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy got this one right. There is an experiment happening on Earth. Or, rather, the planet Earth IS the experiment. And the universe wonders, "Do we really have choice?" Eventually, the planet will be destroyed. But it won't be the Vogons and the experiment won't continue. Hopefully, my friends will pick up on that. Before the mice get them.

Moving the Mountain

It seems my ambition to write every week has fled. But, I am still making the attempt to write from time to time. I must; it's good for me. Yes, I need to keep telling myself that. If I repeat it enough, one day I'll believe it. Anyways. On to what's new and right with my world.

I went to prison last Weds. Believe it or not, that's good news. I have a temp job working for the IT section of the Department of Corrections. The job won't last very long but at least it's work. I have to get up earlier than I'd like and I'll be going to some prison facilities. Those are some definite downsides. However, I'm working with some decent people.

One of those people is named Mohammed. When I was introduced to him, I didn't think anything of it other than, "I wonder if he's Muslim." That thought reflected back on itself and considered my name: Peter, which means, "a stone". Now a stone isn't really much when compared to a mountain. But the mountain is built of stones. So if Mohammed hasn't gone to the mountain, the mountain will come to Mohammed. One stone at a time, if it must =D. (For those of you who didn't get it... this might explain. Or this.)

Anywho. That's about it for now. Must be off to bed. Laterz.

Eek!

My last post was... July 28. That's... a long time. Almost two months. I should write more often. Then again, there's nothing major going on in life right now. Still adjusting to married life, still looking for a job, now also looking for a car. P'raps I should learn to write about smaller stuff going on in life. That might help. Any news is worth writing about, right? Maybe. We'll see. I'll make an effort, at least. Not necessarily a daily blog. That's a bit much. But once a week sounds about right. "That'll do, pig. That'll do."

Seeing God With New Eyes

I've been reading a book lately called See With New Eyes by Ty Gibson. The idea behind the book is to reset the reader's picture of God. You see, God has been misrepresented. Sometimes, a lot of the time, by the church. Now you're about to say, "Whoa! You're a Christian. How dare you say the church has gone wrong!" Well, my first loyalty should be to God, not the church. So let's get something straight here. The church has fucked up.

Start with this: have you ever heard a "fire and brimstone" sermon? They used to be more common approximately a century ago and previous. The modern day equivalent is the "Revelation and the End Times" sermon. The basic premise behind the sermon? Scare people into coming to church. By painting a picture of a horrible death and a harsh, destructive God, the church has tried to convert unbelievers. And look how well that's worked. Some years ago, I remember hearing some statistics regarding "Revelation sermon" converts. There was a lot of cheering because a number of people had converted. However, within a year, the majority (probably 90% or more) had left. The cause? Couldn't say for sure, but I can make a guess--things didn't add up. The church's message to the infidels and its message to the believers said two different things. "The end is coming! God is going to destroy you for your wickedness! Convert now!" vs. "God wants to save you. God forgives. God is love." Can you see a bit of a dichotomy? Can you understand why people would be confused? Why people might think that Christianity is full of crap?

And don't get me started on the Crusades. I'll just say bad idea.

But back to the original topic. The church has misplaced its picture of God. God really is love. And we need to reread our Bibles with that in mind. For instance (and I just read this a few minutes ago), let's revisit the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve have eaten the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. As a consequence for their disobedience, God curses both man and woman and kicks them out of the garden. Pause here. When you previously heard/read the story, did you ever imagine God being stern or angry? That's the picture that I grew up with. Creation had started fine, but once mankind screwed up once... punishment! But what if... what if that picture is incorrect? What if God wasn't angry at that time? What if He was sad? What if He was crying? Let's revisit the scene. God has just found His son and daughter hiding from Him. They used to run to Him, laughing. And now they cringe away at the sound of His footsteps. At the sound of His voice. He knows what they've done. He knows that the consequence must follow. But He doesn't want to do it. "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." You remember your parents telling you that just before a spanking? Where do you think they got that phrase from? I'd like to imagine that God was thinking something along those lines, if not saying it, at that time. With tears running down His face, the Father told his children that their lives would be difficult and painful. And then He gave them some new clothes and gently pushed them out of His garden and locked the gate behind them. Can you hear the "pit, pat" of tears falling to the ground? Those aren't from Adam and Eve. They've already gone over the hill. Who's left?

Does that change your picture of God a little? Do you begin to see? I like to think I have.

Life Update

Oi. It's been a long time since my last post. I guess it's the loss of continuity. You forget to do something once and promise yourself that you'll do it later. Then a week rolls around and you haven't done it. You push the next instance aside and the length of time increases. Eventually, you just forget that you haven't done it. I need to get back into the habit of writing on a semi-regular basis. It's good for me. Helps me to communicate. To think. To imagine. To grow.

So... on to the big question: What have I been up to? Well, first and foremost, I got married. Might be a little hard to believe, but there it is. I finally went and did it. And... I kinda like it. I also moved. Downstairs. Since I'm not working yet, this is a purely financial decision. Once I'm up and running (not literally, I hope), we'll find an apartment. So I'll be in town for at least another year. After that... who knows? God may decide I'll be a greater help elsewhere.

Other news. I'm trying to shift my sleeping hours. Now that I'm entering the "real" world (of work and drudgery), I'll need to get up at a decent hour and sleep at a decent hour. Or else I won't have a job for very long. Might take a while to adjust. And I'm also adjusting to sleeping with someone else in the bed. Well... life's tough, I guess. Anyways. That's probably enough for now. Don't want to overexert myself on the first post since the break. =D